Weight Loss Blog: Day 15; Depressed

Ugh. Today I woke up and realized exactly why I shouldn't be weighing myself every morning.

Because I face this time when I have GAINED weight for the last 3 days. At first I laughed it off and chalked it up to the fact that my scale is super stupid. Really.

But anywho- It still doesn't take the sting away when I look at the scale, hoping to see the numbers drop and WHAM- big ole' fat numbers right in my face that I thought I would never see again.

That is depression.

I found myself wandering through the grocery store isles today just thinking how I would love to make that, or eat that, or bake that. It was torture. I happily walked out not giving in to any temptations- but it was one of those moments where I thought "ah- this isn't worth it. Gonna throw in the towel and just eat"

And this folks- is where I usually quit. I get so tired of feeling like crap after not seeing results or FEELING results.I know I've lost some weight and some inches- so what's the big deal right? Well- the point is that I'm one of those people that need to see results and feel that my sacrifice is working... and to see those number rise- doesn't boost the confidence levels. Why am I eating so few calories, exercising, and sacrificing if the numbers are just going to go up?

I know I know..... it happens. The numbers fluctuate. I keep telling myself the numbers don't matter- it's how I feel that matters. Well- my theory only works when I'm actually SKINNY :)   When I've lost the weight and when I reach the point where I like myself again, THEN I don't care what the numbers are. lol

I'm such a hypocrite.

Oh well. I will continue on. I have this and you to be accountable to. So I'll keep going- even though I want to dive into a big piece of chocolate cake right now.

On the flip side- I did lose another 1/2 inch- so VICTORY!!!! (I'll count the small things)

Yesterdays Weight: 168.6
Today's Weight: 169.4

Weight Loss Blog: Day 14: The 2 week mark

It's been 2 weeks since I started my weight loss journey. And this is usually the time I get bored of trying something and saying "to heck with it". I don't have the feeling of quitting just yet- so on I go!!

Now.... the last 3 days- I haven't been able to exercise because of my back. I did some research last night and got back on the ball this morning.

Here are a few things I found I could do:

1) Press Ups

Supposed to do this to strengthen the core muscels.

2) Extension Exercises

These help relieve lower back and butt pain :)

3) Curl ups/Crunches

Now... I will say, that my Dr said NOT to do crunches- but it's mentioned online that using the curl up method of just lifting your head and shoulders off the floor will help strengthen those core muscles as well. I was too chicken to try this one today though :)

4) Leg Raises

Pretty self-explanatory. But this exercise helps strengthen the lower abs, thus creating more support for the lower back.

5) Leg lifts in the water

This would absolutely be my choice if I had access to a pool. swimming is something I really enjoy doing- guess I should get a membership to a club just for the pool :) This targets lower back specifically. With the resistance, it also targets abs muscles.

There ya go! Even though I feel like an invalid and don't feel as though I'm doing ANY exercising at all, at least I can start somewhere before hopping back on to my treadmill and weights.

With that- I have to start something, because I've GAINED weight in the last 2 days. I'm getting kind of depressed seeing those numbers go back up... especially since I"ve stayed true to or below my calorie count. Guess exercising actually makes a difference! (go figure)

And as of now, this is basically what I have to deal with 

Also reminds me of the billboard- think I mentioned this too- "I love back pain- said no one ever".

2 week stats: (with the last 2 days of weight gain) I'm only down .2 lbs from last week for a total of 3.8 lbs lost. BUT- I've also lost 2 more inches!!! (so I'm OK with that)

Yesterdays Weight: 167.6

Today's Weight: 168.4

Weight Loss Blog: Day 13: The days you hurt

I mentioned in my very first post about the ailments that I have been experiencing for what I fell is from weight gain.  Friday night, I was cleaning out my garage, nothing too serious, and before I knew it, I threw my back out again. Now- a little back story:

When I was preggo with #5, I gained quite a bit of weight with the pregnancy and developed Sciatica. And because it hurt to pretty much do anything, I grew heavier and it got worse. (vicious cycle)
Once the pregnancy was over, I went through about a week of the sciatica being WORSE that even the post labor pains, and that sucked. But once it left, it was gone for good.

Until about 3 months ago.

I do sit down a lot during the day because of my job. I manage a photography company and am busy on the computer most of the time doing various things. My sciatica came back but wasn't too painful. And then the end of August, I was packing up our house to move and while placing freaking plastic containers into a box, i twisted just right and a shooting pain rocketed through my back and down my legs, causing me to almost black out. I couldn't move for the pain was so immense. I was light headed, couldn't move, and no one was home to help me.

After about 10 minutes, the stabbing pain subsided, but I was so sore, that all I could do was sit in a recliner. After a week of taking pain meds and taking it easy, I couldn't stand the pain any longer and went to the dr. He proceeded to tell me that Sciatica was most likely the cause but that I needed an xray to rule out spine deformities. I never got the xray. He then prescribed me 4 pills to take to help with pain management and told me I needed to lose weight, exercise, and not sit so much. (ha....nice one)

I stayed down and took it easy for 2 more weeks- (all the while I had to pack some since we were moving Sept 1) and by the time moving day came along, I felt just fine.

I've been doing great ever since, just had some minor residual pain- but knowing it was a 'mechanical" thing in my back, there was really nothing I could do to prevent it ever happening again.

Fast forward to Friday. Cleaning out the garage, doing seemlessly nothing, and WHAM. rocketing pain shooting down my back and almost knocking me out yet again. My 10 yr old son was there when it happened, scared him- but I knew it wasn't as bad as the first time.

I've been laying down taking it easy for the last few days, and the pain is easing up, but it's still apparent.

Dr said I need to rest and take pills until the pain is practically gone, and then go to a chiropractor.

In the mean time- I am having a hard time with this. I want to lose weight, I want to get in shape so I don't have to experience this crap anymore. But how can I when everything I do  potentially could hurt me worse?

So now I struggle. I need to now find a few different exercises that I can do from home, without having to worry about re-injuring my back. I've been told going to a physical therapist can help with it- so I may just need to bite the bullet and make that happen.

I also think that's why I gained a few ounces back since yesterday :(
I don't even know why I weigh every day- it makes me depressed when I see numbers go up. BUT- I do think it makes my resolve stronger knowing that I'm not just losing to lose. My body is guiding me on this journey and telling me when I need to push and when I need to slow down. And I'm OK with that.

For now, I'll watch what I eat even more and maybe just focus on arms for the time being lol.
On to do some research......I'll keep you posted as I figure out how to work around this "bump in the road". :)

Yesterdays Weight: 166.8
Today's Weight: 167.6

Weight Loss Blog: Day 12: Let your body be your guide

I aim for cheesy and corny titles.....or at least creative. lol

Today- I want to talk about something I've been noticing over the past few days.
I've gone through highs where I wake up, feeling "skinny" and good about myself, then there are days where I wake up and feel like I look the same and will never reach my goal.

All through this- I keep one thing constant...listening to my body. Sure- the other day my body told me I needed to keep eating food and I listened and gave in- but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking listening to what my body is telling me it needs to finish what I've started.

I have been sticking to my calories- for the most part- and I've been struggling through exercising, because I HATE doing it. And I think a lot of it is training my brain/self to the adjustment of changing everything I feel is comfortable.

Part of that "listening" comes from part of the story I told already. Back when I was "experimenting" with different weight loss pills and such, I got sick with a few of the pills I took. But what about the opposite experiences?

As I've been doing my usual routine the last week and a half, I've come to know a few things. Most Dr's recommend doing some sort of "detox" before starting a diet. That detox is cleaning our your system and getting it ready for the change it's about to go through. Now I'm not going through a whole lot of change, jut not eating as much and exercising. BUT- the theory is there. I thought that just not eating as much and exercising was going to help my body flush itself out.

I was wrong.

Through my eating of less calories and taking the Garcinia pills, I've been losing weight. Not a whole lot of complaints, but I came to realization that my body hasn't gone through a "detox" of ridding itself of the amount of crap it's used to ingesting. But lets also be honest- I'l never be one of the people that can eat "healthy" either :)

I see all these advertisements and pictures of people going from 250 to 125 JUST by taking this certain pill AND a colon cleanse.

That leads me to something else...When you are taking vitamins and minerals- it's suggested to use an accompanying  vitamin or mineral to maximize the benefits. Example: Vitamin C speeds up the absorption of Iron. So why should I expect to lose weight if i don't aid my body with something to help it flush itself out and help to absorb the changes?

Sooooooo- I've had these bottles from DoTerra that I haven't used for whatever reason. I wanted them and intended to use them, but was too lazy to actually use them. Until now. Once I decided that i needed to aid my body in it's changes, I wanted to help aid my digestive system.

My morning routine is now as follows:
1 capsule of Zendocrine
        Zendocrine does the following:
                           dōTERRA®'s Zendocrine essential oil blend is a proprietary blend of therapeutic-grade essential                                           oils of clove, grapefruit, rosemary, and geranium that have been studied for support of the cleansing                                     organs of the body. The blend is formulated to be used individually or in combination with the                                                 Zendocrine botanical extract complex.

1 Capsule of Terrazyme
        Terrazyme does the following:
                          dōTERRA TerraZyme® Digestive Enzyme Complex is a proprietary blend of active wholefood                                                  enzymes and supporting mineral cofactors that are often deficient in cooked, processed, and                                                  preservative-laden foods. TerraZyme's powerful combination of digestive enzymes support the                                                body's constant production of enzymes critical for healthy biochemical functions throughout the body                                      including healthy digestion of food nutrients and cellular metabolism of nutrients to energy.                                                      TerraZyme includes a variety of whole-food enzymes that help with digestion of proteins, fats,                                                  complex carbohydrates, sugars and fiber.

And I will be adding
1 Capsule of GX Assist:
         GX Assist does the following:
                           dōTERRA®'s GX Assist® is a proprietary combination of Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade essential                                     oils and caprylic acid that help support a healthy digestive tract by creating an unfriendly environment                                     for potentially harmful pathogens that can disrupt digestive immunities and cause digestive upset.                                         GX Assist is formulated with therapeutic-grade oregano, melalueca, lemon, lemongrass,                                                         peppermint, and thyme essentials oils that have been demonstrated to have in-vitro antimicrobial                                         properties. GX Assist also includes caprylic acid that has been traditionally used as for its specific                                         health-supporting properties in the gut.

Eat with my protein shake.


Then for my lunch- I take 2 capsules of the Garcinia.

Yesterday was the first day I applied my extra naturals to my pill regime and it's made a vast improvement already! I will continue on this path unless my body tells me otherwise.

Seriously... clean your system out. It's full of garbage. (even though I continue to eat some) your system needs to flush itself out of all that gunk every once in a while- and I want to train my system to expel the unwanted instead of letting it sit around.

With that being said.... try them- you won't regret it!!!

Yesterdays Weight: 168.4
Todays weight: 166.8

YES!!!!!!

Weight Loss Blog: Day 11: The lesson of NOT letting go

I was waiting for this "I don't care" thought to enter my mind and take hold. I knew there would be days that I struggled. that ifI knew there would be times that I wanted to just forget about the calorie count and just go back to eating what I want, when I want, in any quantity I wanted. I also knew if I didn't allow myself to indulge on the things I love to eat most, I would hit those walls a lot more and harder.

Whenever I would go on a "diet", I would get rid of all snack foods and crap. The theory is that if it isn't available to you, you won't eat it. And for logistical reasons, it makes perfect sense. But try telling that to someone who is addicted to sugar.

I don't care that I enjoy cookies and cakes. I love that I can eat cotton candy and popcorn. And just to take them away, makes me want them more. I end up hitting the wall after a few days- I run to the grocery store and blow a ton of money on crap. Should I eat it? No. Do I care? No. lol   I know being healthy is thing I NEED to do. But all things in moderation. I end up eating less of the crap and just focusing on the meals and calories and trying my hardest to change things a little at a time until I WANT to be healthy in the things I eat.

Until then.....I'll count my calories and enjoy the things I love in moderation :)

The reason I talk about this is because yesterday was the day that I gave in to the sugar devil. He reared his ugly head after lunch yesterday and although I was still being careful with calories, until last night. I felt hungry all.day.long.!!! It was horrible. And eating a banana or a piece of bread just wouldn't cut it. I ended up over my calories for the night (not by much but still).  And with the horrible bawl fest that was the Glee episode last night, I had to accompany my grief with food.

I went to bed feeling like crap. Literally. I felt full, I felt gross, and most of all- I felt disappointed that I gave in to those cravings. This came to mind:

So I ask you (and myself)....is it worth it? Do I want the body of my dreams more than I want that cookie? Do I prefer feeling good at night when I go to bed, or do I NEED to have that bag of popcorn? And now that I've experienced the shame while going through the process of trying to transform, I understand now that I prefer NOT to give in to those cravings. I prefer to let my tummy grumble or soothe it with a stick of gum instead of giving into that horrible sugar devil and regretting it later.

Now that I've experienced the total disappointment in myself after giving in- I will come back to this post and remember exactly how I felt. I will try harder not to give in to crap and to stay motivated to lose this weight. :)

Yesterdays Weight: 167.8

Todays Weight: 168.4

Weight Loss Blog: Day 10: The "Baby Belly"

I've had 5 kids. I've gone full term and delivered every single one of them without complications.
Lucky for me- with all my beautiful babes, I also ended up with a beautiful baby belly to show for it :)

Bless little kids' hearts, but they are brutally honest- whether you want them to or ask them to be. And often times, it's hurtful to hear. But out of the mouths of babes.....there's no room for lying. So when my son says "Mom, your fat" or "why is your belly so big", it's  a hard lesson to learn while you're trying to teach your kids to keep their mouths shut! lol

Then you have people like my husband.  He's not the skinniest guy around either and he says he wants to do this thing with me ( he even suggested we name the blog The Heavy Housewife and Chubby Hubby) but has yet to be able to quit those things he loves so much (aka food and soda). Anyway- he loves his weight and himself that I admire him. He jokes around about his weight all the time. (it must be a guy thing). He'll walk into the room and say something like "You diggin this? Cuz this is all lovin' right here" (while rubbing his belly) lol. He's a nut and I love him for it. Sometimes I'll play along.. on his behalf, but I can never play along using my body as a thing for joking. I guess you could say that because I have poor body image, that's one thing I haven't found funny....nor have I found anything to laugh at. So I'll laugh at my husband :)- This reminded me of him- but it VERY easily apply to me as well- I should learn to lighten up on myself.

I've heard from several people that the baby belly aka the muffin top, is one of the hardest things to get rid of. It's something I haven't experienced NOT having in over 13 years. So I'm bound and determined to reach that goal. I've tried the crunches, I've tried different ab workouts, but there is an underlying cause to why women have such a hard time losing the baby belly all together. It's called Diastasis- and for us dumber folk- the separation of the abdominal muscles. Most of the time, it's recommended that you visit a physical therapist and have them check how bad your diastasis is, because it's highly likely that each person needs a specified and personal workout regime to attack that separation. Most of us don't have access or money to a physical therapist. Like me- I get to rely on the good ole' internet and do the research to help myself (and oddly enough, help you too!)

So I was led to one of my favorite people...Dr Oz. I watched this clip and love the gentle exercises his personal trainer recommends using to close that icky gap and get your abs back. (and according to them.. it's actually doable- which I have yet to believe). So watch this clip and see what you think

I think that his routine is something that I will be incorporating into my daily exercises. Unless I attach the problem, then my dream body will never come- no matter how many crunches I do. (which... it's said that crunches are actually BAD for diastasis)

So there ya have it folks- attack that baby belly/muffin top and get your abs back!

Yesterday's Weight: 168.6

Today's Weight: 167.8

Weight Loss Blog: Day 9: Jammin' Out

I am my fathers daughter. I love entertainment. Give me games, a party, music, movies, etc any day of the week and I will be a happy girl.

I thought I'd take a little break today and discuss something fun. My music!!!  Being that I grew up a dancer with a dance major for a mother, and both parents who grew up in homes where music was religion, I too endured the amazing times of Abba, Beatles, and my all time fav- the 80's! This is def going to be me:

One fun thing about my family is that no matter where we are or what the situations is, we will all break out in song during any random conversation, just because a few words triggered it. And what's sad (or awesome) is that we usually all sing the same song. It really is that awesome.....and fun. Something like this:

ALL.THE.TIME. lol

When I'm running/walking on my treadmill or just working out in general, it's imperative that I listen to music. I seriously think I'm incapable of working out without it. So for kicks- I'm going to list the songs I have on my Ipod now for workouts. They are all upbeat, they have varying beats (which I love because I typically walk/run to the beats- call it the dancer in me), and it makes the time go by faster when I make mini goals during each workout relating to said music. ie "I'll jog this entire song", or "I'll walk the next 2 songs and then run on the 3rd". Plus- most of the time I end up belting out whatever song is playing, which I believe gives me a greater workout (or just makes me breathe a lot harder lol).

Here's part of my list:

Live While We're Young- One Direction

I Got A Feeling- Black Eyed Peas

Party Rock Anthem- LMAO

Call Me Maybe- Carly Rae Jepson

If I Had You- Adam Lambert

Dancing Queen- Abba

Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen

What Makes You Beautiful- One Direction

Sail Away- Enya (The Dubsteb Remix)- Its way cool!

Some Nights- Fun

Stronger- Kelly Clarkson

Put A Ring On It- Beyonce

Everybody Talks- Neon Trees

Walking On Air- Katy Parry

Hungry Like The Wolf- American Idol Edition from David Cook

Firework- Katy Perry

We Are Young- Fun

Best Song Ever- One Direction

Drive By- Train

Payphone- Maroon 5

Love You- Selena Gomez

The Sweet Escape- Gwen Stefani

Want U Back- Cher Lloyd

Roar- Katy Perry

We Found Love- Rhianna

Say Hey-Michael Franti

Bulletproof- La roux

Eye of the Tiger-Survivor

I'm A Believer- Smashmouth

Raise Your Glass- Pink

We Built This City- Starship

Brave- Sara Bareilles

You Make My Dreams Come True- Hall and Oats

So now you have a taste of my eclectic mix- all of it completely fabulous. :)

Now...ROCK ON!

Yesterdays Weight: 168.8

Today's Weight: 168.6